Facebook Status

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Just a list of some off the wall Facebook status’ I’ve used or plan to use. Like many of these, some are original, some are borrowed, others stolen and a few condemed by the catholic league of Flying Squirrels.  Feel free to borrow, steal or even condem them if you want.

  • is proof reading to make sure he hasn’t any words out.
  • must stop using Facebook as the primary communication method with his girlfriend, family and friends.
  • is thinking Dilly-Dally, Shilly-Shally!
  • must only pay for sex if the price seems really, really reasonable
  • is looking for something to find .
  • is in quarantine.
  • is Being Invade by the americans..
  • is a yummy jummy funny lucky gummy bear.
  • is pretty sure that’s no moon!
  • is altering the deal, pray he does not alter it any further!
  • is finding your lack of faith disturbing *force grip*
  • is sensing something; a presence he hasn’t felt since…
  • a little short for a stormtrooper
  • is upsetting the wookie
  • is running out of good Star Wars one-liners
  • thinks the only sound is your voice, tearing at my soul. Another ghost to haunt me.
  • is havingtrou blewithhis spacebar.
  • is taking a gap year and focusing on the bible.
  • is ON STRIKE!!! Wants better scripts!
  • is coming to a theater near you.
  • is hoping you stop moving around so much. It makes video taping you easier.
  • is with your girlfriend.
  • wants a Mint Mocha Chip Frappuccino® blended coffee with Chocolate Whipped Cream!
  • , it turns out, isn’t a Jedi :(
  • ’s hobby is collecting dust
  • puts the pro in procrastinate
  • is thinking of a number between 1 and 10.
  • is a vegetarian, not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!
  • wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
  • is filmed before a live stuido audience
  • is busy with Jedi business, go back to your drinks.
  • says size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
  • doesnt look a thing like Jesus.
  • Is the guy who put the laughter in manslaughter
  • pondering a move into the 3rd dimension
  • ‘s counting sheep he’s run over this week.
  • is in the bushes watching you type in you status…..
  • is growing accustomed to kinky swimming trunks!
  • needs to stop buying kinky underwear for other peoples wives.
  • is terrified of metaphorical orifices!
  • is desperately in need of spiky cocktail umbrellas!
  • trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
  • in another castle, sorry Mario.
  • is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Trave may cause fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Trave is right for you.
  • is getting over you…
  • is practicing the mating rituals of protuberant air biscuits
  • is riding ponies outside Wal-Mart. . .I need quarters
  • is “updated to version 2.1, and included is many new exciting features.”
  • is considering becoming a man
  • is considering becoming a woman
  • is getting a grip on reality..and choking it to death
  • is the best of times and the worst of times.
  • is “childish. No he’s not, yes he is, no he’s not, yes he is.”
  • is looking at you naked (mood: disappointed)
  • is Doing Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
  • is here..now what are your other two wishes????
  • is rejecting your reality and substituting his own.
  • is just not the same since that house fell on my sister
  • is laying in the road dressed as a deer
  • is “the kid next door’s, imaginary friend”
  • is beta testing your mom.
  • is divulging his mind in the complexities of t… ooo look a kitty
  • is …there are NO words.
  • is has just finished installing a flux compacitor in his DeLorean and is headed back to 1985
  • is tired of chasing his dreams. I’m just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
  • is busier than a cucumber in a woman’s prison.
  • is talking to his inner voices..& they don’t like you
  • says Judge me all you want… just keep the verdict to yourself
  • says “””remember JESUS LOVES YOU… It’s everyone else who thinks you’re an idiot.”””
  • is my little pony
  • is missing the way things were…where the F is that time machine?
  • is sweaty and smelly and sleepy and sipping water and somehow going to be alright.
  • wants to be forgotten. Break me, Forgive me & relinquish what’s left to the ruins.
  • is tortured by love & by pain, and surely would flee but for the oath…
  • “I want to die but I can’t think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I’m terrified of blades.”
  • Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, cause I might do something crazy like believe it
  • She said: I’m afraid of falling … but he whispered: I have wings.

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Welcome , today is Friday, August 18, 2017